*4 months later*

I let out a long groan as I reached over to shutt off the alarm. It was almost the end of April, and I still had no clue on what I was really going to do with the whole Alex situation. After I told him I was pregnant and he sat there in shock for a few minutes, he actually smiled. He was happy about the baby. My reaction to his happiness was a grimace. He then put his number back into my phone and told me that he wanted to be apart of the baby's life, at least enough to where it knew he existed. Right now, that was all I was willing  to give him. He called at least once a week to check up on me.

Another thing was that I felt like it put some sort of damper on Josh and I's relationship. Even though he still reassures me that he is happy that Alex wants to be involved. I know deep down that he is probably lying through his teeth. He got a job in February to teach a music class at the local high school.

I rolled over to my side to face Josh and kissed him on the forehead. I felt his arm move to wrap itself around me and pull me as close as possible to him. Which was getting quite hard these days considering I was 6 and 1/2 months pregnant and my belly was only getting bigger as each week went by. "Good morning." he said softly leaning in to kiss me.

I scrunched my nose. "Morning breath. Brush your teeth first, mister." I told him with a smirk.

He grinned and kissed me anyways. "You know you love it." he said as he got up out of bed and stretched, the muscles in his back flexed before he walked into the bathroom. I bit my lip. As if I needed another reminder to know that he was hot. "Are you checking me out?" he asked, turning around with a toothbrush in his hand.

I propped myself up and slid off the bed. "Maybe." I said simply giving him a smirk as stood next to him at the sink to brush my hair out and brush my teeth. Thankfully, the morning sickness ceased and only reappeared when I smelled or ate any kind of seafood. Especially crab. Even thinking about it made me sick.

I gave Josh a quick kiss on the cheek before waddling into kitchen. Okay, so I wasn't waddling yet, but it sure felt like it. I rummaged through the freezer until I found what I was looking for. Blueberry eggo waffles. I've been craving them like crazy for about a month. Josh surprised me and bought 2 huge boxes at Costco for me. Another craving was mexican pizzas at Taco Bell with fire sauce. I used to never like hot sauce until the cravings hit.

I sat down with my waffles, orange juice, and prenatal vitams that Josh made me take and looked out the window. Admiring the new day. It made me think of New York, and my balcony. I missed New York, but not enough to go back to that lifestyle.

"Save me any waffles this time?" Josh teased as he walked into the kitchen, opening the cabinet. He grabbed one of his favorite cereals, Capn Crunch.

"Of course not, I thought you would have figured that out by now." I countered between bites.

He rolled his eyes and sat down at the table. "Don't you have an appointment today?" he asked before munching down on his cereal.

I nodded. "Yep. It's at 2:30. Today's also the first day I start training the new girl that your dad just hired to help me out."

"That's good." He smiled lightly before stuffing his mouth full of cereal again. "I'll pick you up at 2."

"You don't have to take me." I sighed. I still felt like I was making him do all of these things. I guess I still wasn't used to people actually wanting to care for me.

He rolled his eyes. "I want to take you. I think this whole experience is neat." he said as he got up and put his cereal bowl into the sink. "You better hurry and get dressed, you're gonna be late."

I glance over at the clock. Crap. I had 15 minutes. I swallowed the rest of my waffle and waddled over to the bedroom.

"Sorry I'm late." I apologized in a huff as I burst through the back door.Both Mr. and Mrs. Farro were in the kitchen, and Zac was sitting on a stool.

Zac laughed. "We better watch out! Pregnant waitress is late and very angry!" he yelled.

Mr.Farro wacked him with the dishtowel. "You should watch out for the angry dad!" he said sharply, but with a smile.

Mrs. Farro turned her head towards me, and set down her rolling pin. "Josh called already. You should've expected that sweetie."

"I know." I sighed.

She laughed. "Your trainee is waiting at the bar." She said as she wiped her flour covered hands on her apron.

I took off my coat and let out a breath as I opened the doors and walked over to the counter. "Hi. Sorry I'm a little late." I apologized again.

She smiled. "It's okay. I wasn't waiting for very long." She said, her brown eyes were wide and happy as she looked around the restaurant. She put a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear. I could see a streak of red in her hair. "I'm Katharina. Most people call me Katha." She smiled, sticking her hand out to greet me.

"I'm Hayley." I smiled back, shaking her hand. She seemed pretty nice; and was at least 2 inches taller than me. Then again, who wasn't? "So Katha, where do you want to start?"

By the time 2:00 came around, I was already exhausted from the breakfast and lunch shifts, but Katha soon got the swing of things and was already a major help. I put on my coat and turned on my phone before waving goodbye to Zac and Katha and walking out the door. Josh was already parked out in front, waiting patiently.

I opened the door and got in. He smiled and kissed me lightly. "How was work?" he asked, merging onto the highway.

"It went well. The new girl, Katha helped out so much." I said happily.

"Good." He smiled, taking one of his hands off the wheel to lace his fingers with mine. "Are you nervous?" he asked, as we pulled in the parking lot of the doctors office.

"Kind of." I admitted as he helped me out of the car. I had a hard time getting up by myself these days. We walked into the office and Josh signed me in, and soon my name was called and we were led to one of the rooms.

"Nice to see you again, Miss Williams." Dr.Montgomery said as he walked into the room. "Let's start by taking your blood pressure," he said as he put the sleeve on my arm and a pressed a button. I always hated these things. "Blood pressure looks good." he noted, writing things on his chart. "Let's go ahead and start with the ultrasound." he said with a smile.I went ahead and pulled my shirt up and moved down the elastice waistband from my maternity pants. He squirted the cold jelly on my stomach and turned on the machine, and pressed the reciever thing to my stomach. The sound of its heartbeat started immediately. Josh squeezed my hand and gave me a happy smile. "Looks like you're about 27 weeks along...correct?" I nodded. He pressed a few buttons and the screen zoomed in a little. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

I looked at Josh, he shrugged his shoulders. "It's your call." He said with a smirk.

I bit my lip and looked at Dr.Montgomery. "Uh, well....okay. Yeah." I laughed nervously.

He chuckled and moved around a little, looking at different angles. "It looks like you have a little girl."

"Really?" I asked, my voice going up an octave. "You're sure?"

"100% sure." The doctor told me with a laugh."I'm assuming that you would like some pictures of your baby girl."

I nodded. My heart swelled. It made everything even more real to know that I had a little girl in there. I felt excited.

I looked over at Josh with a grin I couldn't hide. His eyes were watery as he squeezed my hand and kissed it. At the moment, I wished that my little girl was his.

Hayley

I tried to stay as calm as I possibly could when his eyes met with mine. The last time I wanted to ever see him again was in New York. I was going to start a new life with Josh...and my baby. Alex's baby. Now that he was here, maybe I should tell him. But he didn't deserve our baby. He didn't even deserve Josh's amazing cooking.

"Well hi there Hayley!" Jack chirped.

I snapped out of my trance and managed to give him a real smile. I wasn't mad at him, only at Alex. "Hey Jack-ass." I teased. "What brings you to Franklin?"

"We're on tour with Cute is what we aim for." He said puffing his chest out proudly.

"Wow! really?" I said, not having to fake enthusiasm. "That's so awesome!" Alex was still looking at me with that lost puppy look. "So, what can I get you guys to drink?"

"Gin and tonic." I knew that meant a Pepsi in Jack-language.

"Sprite."

"Water."

I turned to Alex and he didn't answer. "He'll have a water too." Jack answered for him.

"I'll be back." I said hastily before making a bee line for the kitchen. I leaned on a counter to catch my breath.

"What's wrong babe?" Josh asked, setting down his cloth from cleaning up the last meal.

I couldn't keep it together anymore. My eyes started to water. "He's here."

Josh walked over to me and held my face in his hands, stroking my hair. "Who's here?"

"Alex." I stammered.

His jaw clenched. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" he asked, concerned.

I shook my head. "He didn't know I worked here. They're in town because he is in a band and they're playing a show tonight." I explained, taking a deep breath. The scent of sea food filled my nostrils and I felt my stomach churn. I clamped a hand over my mouth and raced for the bathroom.

Josh was right behind me, holding my hair as I threw up. When I finished, he flushed the toilet for me as I brushed my teeth. I thought it was a good idea since I seemed to be getting sick even in the afternoon. "It was the fish." I explained.

"I'll make sure to warn you when you come in." He said with a sympathetic look. "I think you should tell him." he said out of the blue.

"What?" I spat.

"He's here right now, all you have to do is pull him aside and let him know. There must be a reason for him being here." he said softly, stroking my hair.

"I guess you're right." I sighed.

"I am right." He touched my nose with his index finger. I smiled and pushed his hand away. "Now go give those boys their drinks."

I stuck my tongue out at him before filling the glasses and carrying them out to their table. "Are you ready to order?" I asked, putting on another partially fake smile. I wrote down Alex's order without even making eye contact with him. It made me too nervous.

After I managed to serve them their orders and make small talk with Jack and the rest of their friends. Still ignoring Alex. I knew I was being a bitch by doing so, but he didn't even deserve a glance in his direction. I gave them their bill and gave Jack a big hug as they paid and got up from their table.

I breathed a sigh of relief, glad I had made it through. I brushed my hair out of my face and went to the register to put the cash in. "Hayley?" I heard his voice ask.

I clenched my teeth together and reluctantly looked up directly at him. "Alex." I said his name simply, without emotion. Then, I saw the dark circles underneath his eyes. It looked like he hadn't slept in months. Why did I still have sympathy for him?

"Can we talk? Please?" he asked softly, leaving behind his confident persona around his friends. He sounded like he used to when he would be around me. Great. I was softening up to him again.

I nodded and motioned him to follow me to an empty booth. I sat down and he slid over by me, but kept himself at a distance which made me feel a little better. "So talk."

"I'm sorry. For everything. When you found me in that apartment, you got the wrong idea. I wasn't doing drugs. I was selling them. I still have no excuse for being drunk." he started to explain.

I crossed my arms. "Mhm."

"You have to believe me that I didn't want to hurt you in any way. If I could go back and change everything I would. I was so stupid, and I was afraid...."

That got my blood to boil. It was mostly due to the pregnancy hormones. "You were afraid?" I scoffed. "I was scared silly! You should have talked to me instead of turning to alcohol." I hissed.

He looked down in shame as he fiddled with his hoodie. "I know that now. All I can say is that I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me."

"I can accept the apology but I can't forgive you." I breathed, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"I miss you. So much." He said almost in a whisper. I just stared at him, not wanting those feelings for him to resurface. "I want you to come to our show tonight in Nashville." he said, moving his hand to cover mine. I moved my hand away. "I'm sure it would make Jack really happy." He added, hoping to persuade me.

I shook my head. I felt tears starting to come to my eyes again. There was no way out now, I had to tell him. "I can't go to the show." i said almost inaudiably.

He stared at me with a disappointed expression. "Okay." he whispered, defeated.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I can't come because I'm pregnant." I managed to utter past my quivering lips. A tear escaped my eye and slid down my cheek.

I watched as his face changed from pink, to pale, to practically white. "Y-you're--" he sputtered.

"I'm 10 weeks along. The baby is yours, Alex."

Hayley

I clutched my stomach subconsciously as we got into Josh's car, the feeling hadn't really set in yet. Though, I did feel stupid for not noticing the signs before.

"I have the list of all the vitamins Dr.Scott said you needed to take. Do you feel well enough to work later this afternoon?" He asked, starting the car.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's not like I'm crippled or something." I joked. "But what am I going to say to my grandmother? 'Hi I'm your granddaughter you haven't seen in 10 years and I'm pregnant with my ex-boyfriends child' ?" I scoffed.

"No..." he said bluntly.

I turned my head to stare at him. "Then what am I going to say?"

"You'll say that the baby is mine, and that we are living together." he said calmly.

"No Josh, no. I can't let you do that! How will your parents react?" I started to get a little louder. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"They'll be disappointed in me, but they can't be that upset! they like you a lot, Hayles."

I needed to stand my ground. I wasn't going to ket him claim responsibility for my mistake. I had to do it myself. "Take me to the restaurant." I told him sternly.

"Why?" He asked, but still stopped and made a U-turn.

"I need to work more often to actually make money to support this baby. Besides, your Dad is my employer, he has to know whats going on."

"So you're keeping it?" he said in a hopeful tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, i think so. I just don't want to regret it if I choose to give it up for adoption." I said quietly.

"We'll I'm glad." He said with a small smile.

"You're what?" Mr.Farro said in shock.

Josh held me close to his side. "She's pregnant, Dad. She thought she would need to let you know because you are her employer." he explained for me.

Mr.Farro's blank glance went from josh, to me, then back at Josh. He let out a breath and rubbed his eyes. "Josh, I thought your mom and I taught you better about those things, I-I just don't know what to say other than I'm disappointed." he sighed.

"Uh, Mr.Farro, the baby isn't his." I blurted. Josh didn't deserve this. "I left the father of my child and met your son before I knew I was pregnant." I explained, my cheeks flushed instinctively.

"Well, don't you think you should let him know?" Mr.Farro questioned, it looked like this situation was hard for any of us to follow.

"It wasn't a good relationship. It ended badly." Josh muttered, holding my closer knowing I didn't like to hear or talk about it.

That seemed to calm him down a little. "Oh. I'm sorry then Hayley. Just make sure to let me or Josh know if you have to leave work early if you have issues with the pregnancy."

"Thanks Mr.Farro." I mumbled before I went to go grab an apron. I heard him mutter something to Josh but I couldn't make it out. I didn't care enough about it to raise suspicions.

*2 weeks later*

Alex

"Dude, wake up. We're almost here." Jack shook me awake. I opened my eyes and tried to stretch. Being in this cramped van did have its downsides. Then again, I didn't know if there was any upsides to a van full of 10 people with a trailer attached with all our equipment.

"We're where?" I mumbled, still half asleep. My neck hurt from sleeping sitting up.

" We're going to Nashville! First stop on the tour! duh!" Jack hit me upside the head and Zack and the crew laughed.

"You didn't have to hit me asshole!" I laughed, smacking him upside the head.

"Oh shit." I heard our driver exclaim.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as he slowed down.

"The check engine light just turned on. There is a repair shop up ahead, so it looks like we have a complication to our destination." We pulled up to the repair stop and I fought to get out of the van to stretch my legs.

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around to what seemed like a small town.

"Uh let me see." Rian muttered, pulling out his phone. "My gps says we're in Franklin."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Anyone up for walking around town?" I suggested.

"Sure. I'm game." Rian agreed, putting on his coat.

"I'll go, but we better find some grub! maybe some women too." Jack exclaimed as we started walking down the street.

I rolled my eyes as Zack and Rian laughed, not yet sick of Jack's so called charm. There was quite a lot of hair salons and diners around here. Maybe it was because we were in the south.  "Anybody in the mood for italian?" I suggested, pointing to a sign for an italian restaurant.

"sounds good to me!" Jack yelled, racing to the door and swinging it open. I regretted letting him drink all of those red bulls.

"please wait to be seated." Jack read slowly.

"wow! good job Jack! you can read!" Rian patted him on the back. I decided that I liked Rian a little bit more now.

A tall dark haired woman led us to a table and gave us our menus."You're waitress will be here shortly." She told us before she walked back to her podium.

"Man, break me off a piece of that ass!" Jack whispered I elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed and we all looked at the menus. The chicken carbonara looked pretty good.

"Hi, welcome to Farro Italia, what can I get started for you gentleman?" I heard a familar voice ask.

My heart rate started to speed up when Jack nudged me. I looked up and met the all too familiar pair of eyes that mirrored my shocked expression. She still made my heart swell when I saw her. "Well hi there Hayley!" Jack chirped.

It felt good to be jumping around on a stage again decked out in my old neon clothes and crazy eye makeup. I wasn't even that disgusted with the sweat covering every part of my body under the hot Arizona heat. It was nice to perform to a crowd of people who came here to listen and enjoy music. Our music. I kept as much distance as I could away from Josh. He still believed that we were still together, and we were just "taking a break". The guys didn't question the situation. I just acted as if things were normal, well what normal was orginally the first time. This whole time traveling thing still seemed strange to me. I missed my girls terribly. "All right Phoenix, I need you to sing as loud as you can for this song," I said with a smile as everyone cheered. "this song is called Brick--I mean Born For This." I corrected myself as the guys shot me weird looks. I forgot we haven't written that record yet.

After two more songs, our set was over and I got off the stage in search of nourishment with Jeremy. "So Sarah is going to fly and meet us in Portland next week!" Jeremy said excitedly, fixing his headband.

"Sarah?" I asked questioningly.

He gave me a strange look. "Uh, my girlfriend and one of your best friends?"

I keep forgetting this whole time travel thing. I remembered how upset Jeremy was when they broke up. So if its July now, that meant they wouldn't be together anymore after halloween. "Oh. Sorry, I'm just not all there today."

"You haven't been all there for awhile now. What's going on?" he asked in a brotherly sort of tone. "Is it your break up?" he asked again, making assumptions.

I shook my head. "I honestly don't know. You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Our conversation was interrupted when I wasn't watching where I was going and I ran into what seemed to be a very tall guy with a lot of tattoos. He turned around to see what just hit him. "Sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going." I flushed red from embarrassment.

He chuckled lightly. "It's no big deal. What's up Jeremy?" He asked greeting Jeremy with a fist pound.

"Hayley, this is Chad, he plays guitar for New Found Glory."

"Oh! I didn't recognize you, I love your guys' music." I said happily, remembering when I would dance around the bus with Aaron singing along to Hit or Miss.

He smiled widely. "Thanks. You've got some pipes too." He laughed. "I'm sure you guys are really going to make it big." he complimented. "Are you two in search of some food?"

"Yeah. Know of anything good?" Jeremy asked.

Chad nodded. "Yeah, I think I spotted a taco truck somewhere."

"Awesome! I love tacos!" Jeremy exclaimed as I followed them to the truck.

"Agh, Jer!" Zac exclaimed as we all covered our noses and mouths for the twentieth time. This was one of the only things I didn't miss from being in Paramore. Jeremy's fart episodes after he eats any kind of mexican food.

"I can't help it!" Jeremy laughed, rolling on the couch. "It was the tacos!! They were so good! I had to have more..." He wailed.

"How many did you have?" Taylor asked, his voice muffled by his hand.

"6." I answered for him. Everyone groaned in response. "Well I've had enough of this. I'm getting to bed." I said, getting up and climbing into my bunk. "Night." I yelled before closing my curtain.

I woke up to someone nudging me lightly. It was still pitch black. "Who's there?" I asked, unable to see anything.

"Josh." I heard him whisper. "I need to talk to you."

"Okay." I whispered, not expecting him to climb into my bunk.

He rolled over right next to me, I felt his warm breath blow into my face. "You can't keep avoiding me, Hayley." he whispered softly. He said that before I passed out at the awards. But this time, he wasn't saying it out of anger, he was saying it out of hurt.

"I know." I breathed, not knowing what else to say.

"I miss you." he said even softer. I have never heard him be this vulnerable. I felt him take my hand and absentmindely play with my fingers.

"I know." I sighed again, trying to hold my ground. I had to stick to this.

"You know i still love you." he whispered again, I could feel his stare even in the dark. I wanted to believe it. I really did. I knew that he must mean it now, but soon, it will all be a lie. Soon, I'll be the one begging for him to stay with me, even though he had cheated on me.

"Josh, please. We have to work this out somehow." I pleaded, wrapping my arms around me tightly shivering from the drafty air of our penthouse. The girls were still asleep thankfully.

He shook his head as he grabbed the last article of clothing out of our closet and into his suitcase. "I don't think we can work this out." he said quietly, not even bothering to look up at me.

I grasped the locket around my neck that he had given me for my 20th birthday. "Yes we can. We can go to marriage counseling do more things together as a family, something!" I begged, my voice started to crack.

His eyebrows furrowed as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "No, Hayley. It's over. I-I've met someone else."

That made me stop in my tracks. "It's Megan isn't it?" I said in a whisper, rhetorically. He didn't answer. "Did you sleep with her?" His eyes wavered towards me for a moment and back to the ground. He nodded once. I slumped onto the chair. "What did I do wrong?..." My lips quivered, my chest feeling tight.

"Nothing. We just got married to young. We're not the same people we were when we were young." He shrugged.

"I still am! You are the one who changed Josh!" I spat a little louder than I intended. "I still haven't given up on us! What  about Gwen a-and Allison? Allison worships the ground you walk on Josh, you are her everything, and you are just going to abandon her? abandon me?..." I said, my voice started to break into a sob.

"I can't keep pretending anymore Hayley. This is not what I want anymore. I-I don't want you anymore."

Those words were like daggers to my heart. "Don't...I, I need you, Josh. Please," I begged for one last time. "I love you."

He grabbed his bags and went to the door. "Goodbye, Hayley." he whispered, going out the door without looking back.

Even after that, I still loved him, and now he was the mirror image of how vulnerable I was that night, and how much I wanted him to stay and be with me. "I still love you, Josh." I whispered before he captured my lips into a tender kiss, his familiar arms wormed their way around my back. It felt normal to curl my fingers into his hair, enjoying the sensation of his warm lips contrasted with his cool lip ring moving with mine, as his lips moved up to kiss my eyelids, down my cheeks, underneath my jaw. His cold hands moved to the hem of my shirt and started to slide underneath, touching my warm skin, chills ran down my spine. His lips locked with mine again in more of a heated  fashion, his tongue slid past my lips.  I needed him, but I couldn't give in completely. I finally was able to move my hands to his chest and push him away gently, his lips dettached from mine. "Too fast." I whispered, as we tried to catch our breath.

"Sorry." I heard him whisper. "I got carried away."

I nodded. "Yeah, I think I did too." I breathed. "But this, doesn't change anything." I said, meaning our heated kiss.

He chuckled lightly. "I figured." he said as he started to slide out of my bunk. "Doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying." he said before disappearing into his own bunk.

A few days later....

Alex

The two guys that tried out for our band seemed to be perfect. Rian, the drummer, and Zack, the overly-buffed up bass player seemed like pretty cool guys. Today, was going to be the third day of practice, and things ran smoothly...so far.

Jack had rented a rehearsal space and I was sitting on the only couch, strumming a melody that has been stuck in my head.

"Hey Al," Rian said as he walked in with Zack and Jack.

"Hey." I said, setting the guitar down.

"So you'll never believe what Rian just told me." Jack began, with a wide grin spread across his face.

"That your actually not that bad of a guitar player?" I asked with a smirk.

He rolled his eyes. "No. But guess which band got a spot as the opening act for Cute Is What We Aim For?"

"Seriously? We are the opening act?" I yelled excitedly, getting up from the couch.

Rian nodded. "I managed to pull a few strings and we are their opening act for their winter tour."

We all gave each other pats on the back and high fives. I couldn't believe this was finally happening. "So when does the tour start?"

"On the 14th, We meet them in West Virginia and  first official show is in Nashville."

Jack and I exchanged looks as I smiled widely at myself. This was going to be my second chance, to win her back.

Hayley

After the dinner date with Josh, I started to feel sick again. As much as I protested, not wanting to get him sick, he had me curled up in a ball against him and we watched old black and white re-runs of I Love Lucy on the couch. But once it was morning, I felt my stomach churn again and I raced to the bathroom. Its happened every morning for 4 days now. As I flushed the toilet and opened the bathroom door, Josh looked at me with his arms crossed, and a sympathetic expression. "Thats it. I'm taking you to the doctor." He told me, with my coat in hand. I nodded and grabbed my shoes as he helped me out the door.

"Well, I just got your results back from all your tests, and everything seems normal. You tested false for the flu as well."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "What about the nausea?" I writhed my hands as Josh rubbed my arm soothingly.

He glanced at his clipboard and looked up at me above his glasses. "It should subside midway through your second trimester." Josh and I exchanged looks before turning to the doctor again. "Congradulations on your pregnancy." he added with a small, awkward smile.

At the moment I swore I choked on air. I closed my eyes. "How far along am I?" I asked, my eyes still closed, staying quiet.

"Just about 8 weeks."

I tried to think back to where I actually had sex. Then I remembered Alex, but that was one time and we used protection...I think. That was just about 2 months ago...8 weeks... I turned to meet Josh's confused expression, tears started to form in my eyes. "Alex..." Was all that I managed to utter.

The doctor took it as a hint to leave the room. "I'll be back in a minute. I'll uh, talk to the nurse about your prenatal care plan, if you choose to keep it." he said as he closed the door.

I put my face into my hands, trying to hide my tears. "I'm so sorry." I sobbed.

"Why?" I heard the shock in his voice.

"You must think I'm such a slut, getting knocked up by her ex boyfriend." I sniffed, crying harder.

He pulled my hands away from my face and turned my face to his. His eyes were like liquid chocolate. "No. I don't think that at all. Everyone makes mistakes. That is what makes us human. I know it must be too soon to say it, and in the worst possible situation, but I'm falling for you hard, Hayley. Just don't let your baby pay for that mistake." He pleaded, holding my face in his hands.

"I can't do this. I'm only 19." I muttered as he wiped the tears off of my cheeks. "Besides, I don't know a thing about good parenting."

"You turned out okay." He joked, lightening the situation. "I'll help you raise this baby." He said with sincerety.

I shook my head. "No, I can't let you Josh. It doesn't feel right to have you do this for me. I don't deserve it. I dont want to have to force you to help me raise it."

  He moved his hands from my face silently to hold my hands in his, never breaking our gaze. "I want to."

The streets were filled with empty silence.

The sky was filled with black, angry, distorted clouds, thundering loudly.

It started to rain.

He stood on his old wooden porch, his fists clenched tight looking out into nothing.

Things didn't used to be this bad. He remembered the days when he smiled without having to fake it. He didn't hesitate to talk to her, hold her, or make her smile. But when he saw her, crumpled in the street with her back against his car, it seemed that all that blissful thoughts were sucked right out of his head; making him feel numb. She didn't even notice when he sat down next to her; the rain had soaked the street and crept up through his pants. It felt like ice against his skin.

She too looked like she was staring out into the nothingness, with empty look on her face he had become accustomed to. But he could see how red her eyes were, and how her tears were cleverly hidden in the now falling rain. Her blond hair, that had grown out to show her natural roots clung to her face limply, she didn't even bother putting her hood on her head.

She had another one of her episodes, the became a weekly thing these days. She would try to run out and hide from him, from everything that had given her happiness, everything that reminded her of her. and every time she would run, he would find her, and try to make it better.

He looked down and saw her hands folded on her lamp, the blood mixing with the rainwater. He reached over to examine her hand, and held it lightly in his. She ripped it out of his hand instinctively. "I tried to break it. " She said with a half-hearted laugh, although she didn't sound all that amused. He had seen the shattered fragments of what was left of her mirror in the guest bedroom. "I took my fist to it, stupidly, like I was fucking Chuck Norris or something." Another laugh. He didn't think it was funny.

"Why did you break it?" He asked quietly.

"I didn't want to see her anymore." She said simply, without even throwing a glance his way. "I didn't to see her horrible face looking back at me. The face of a murderer." Her lip quivered.

"Hayley, it was never your fault."

She snapped her head towards him, anger filled her eyes, mixed with desperation. "Yes it was Josh! You know it was. I know you blame me for Hannah's death." she cried, the rain was sinking and twisting into her hair.

"Don't ever say that again Hayley! You know that isn't true." He snapped. That made her quiet. She looked at him with a blank expression, mixtured with confusion and hurt. He reached over to her to put his hands on her shoulders. She winced at his touch. That made him realize how broken she really was, just like the mirror, and now he was left to pick up those pieces Chad had left behind without even a goodbye. Just a note and an empty closet. He was left to pick up the pieces that Chad had broken. He only had to finish the cracks in the mirror, that were scars from the accident.

Josh remembered getting a call from Hayley's mother. She was sobbing on the phone, telling him that Hayley and 2 year old Hannah had been in an accident, and it didn't look to good. He remembered grabbing his keys and driving as fast as he could down there, fighting back the tears, hoping to god that the woman he still loved was alive. Even though she picked Chad over him. He never stopped loving that fiesty redhead. He remembered that even though he never really got along with Chad, he sat with him and helped him when he was told that his daughter was dead, and that Hayley was fighting for her life. She was in a coma for days. He was there when she woke up, asking for her daughter. He was the one to tell her she was gone. He was the one who held her as she sobbed, and said over and over "It was raining too hard."

It had been almost 8 months since that day. Hayley had still not gotten better. She finally looked up at him with a cold expression. "You don't understand what I'm going through, Josh." She said coldly.

That was the final straw. His chest swelled with hurt and anger as he fumed. "Yes I do, Hayley. I was there! through everything." He snapped. She was taken aback by the sudden ferocity of his voice. "I held you as you cried in the hospital. I tried to help and let you stay with me when Chad left you. God knows I've tried to help you, to fix you, and I will keep trying!" He exclaimed, letting out a long sigh. "You have to get your head out of this cloud, you're killing yourself Hayley. You're killing me!"  he sighed, running a hand through his wet hair.

She stood up, and shot him a glare to mask her feelings. "Fuck you, Josh." She stammered, turning her heel and walking towards the street. He could see she was finally giving in to the exhaustion her body had felt as she fumbled for her keys, and gave up slamming her wounded hand against the car window, leaving a trail of blood.

When the rain started to pour, so did her tears, for she collapsed into the side of her car like a wounded animal, her head pressing between her legs in some attempt to hide how vulnerable she had became. He walked over to her, and now she tried to shake away those stupid, broken memories that left her, still crunched in that same almost-fetal position against the asphalt. She tried to ignore Josh's stare in her shoulder, and without a word, inched to her feet - to show that she wasn't done for, that there was still a light that was igniting her weary bones.

But his hand shot out and caught her steady, and even as he scrambled to his feet and stood a mere inch from her, she refused to look him in the eye. He had tried to reason with her before, keep telling her that these things just happen, and we can't do much about it. But now, he felt like there was only one thing to do left.

His arms wrapped around her body and pulled her fragile, tiny frame against his And she finally met him in the eye, unwaveringly, and he took it as incentive; he leaned forward slowly, giving her any chance to say no, he pressed his lips to hers, curling himself around her in such a way that she could do nothing but respond. Hayley molded herself into him, almost desperately lacing her fingers in his hair in such a way that he was afraid to let go of her, as if she would fall apart in his hands. He tried to ignore her tears that appeared again, mixing with the rain, sliding their way between their lips to linger on his tongue. He finally pulled away, and she wearily rested her head on his chest, showing him acceptance of what he was trying to do.

Maybe finally, this way, he was going to fix her.

So start applying away! haha

-Paija

Alex

"Alex get the fuck up." Jack growled, opening my curtains.

"What?" I groaned, sheilding the burst of light from my eyes.

"I have two guys wanting to auditon for the band. You at least have to get out of bed and shave." He bent down and sniffed me, htne backing away in disgust. "a shower would be nice too" he said, scrunching his nose.

"I don't want to play music anymore." I muttered into my pillow, trying to avoid him the best I could.

"Bullshit!" Jack scoffed. "Fine, just keep wallowing over Hayley." he hissed, giving up and walking towards my bedroom door. He paused and looked back at me with a shrug."Besides, you don't even deserve her. So why don't you get up and make something of yourself and win her back." he suggested before walking downstairs.

Maybe his advice wasn't bad afterall. I got up slowly from my bed and looked out my window, seeing the sunrise for the first time in weeks. I was going to do whatever it takes to get her back.

Hayley

"Hayley." A voice called. "Haaaayyyyllleeeey." It called again. I groaned and pulled the covers over my head. I knew it was early and Josh wasn't going to get me up too easily.

"Hayley if you don't wake up I swear I'll sing it." I heard him warn. I continued to ignore him and buried my face into the pillow. I heard him laugh quietly. "Alright, I warned you." he said, taking in a deep breath. "Haaaaapy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday dear--"

"Alright I'm up!" I whined, cutting him off and turning over to look at him and gawked at the blueberry muffin with a candle on it. "You said you wouldn't make a big deal out of it." I whined again.

He rolled his eyes. "Just blow out the candle and be happy I didn't make you wear a party hat."

I obeyed and blew it out with one breath."Happy now?" I asked rhetorically.

"Yep." He answered anyways with a smirk. "Here's your breakfast." he said handing me the muffin. "and I'm taking you out tonight, not for your birthday, but on a date."

"fiine." I replied, realizing I wasn't on the couch. We must've fallen asleep watching movies. I was already getting used to the whole waitressing thing. I had made over 40 dollars in tips yesterday. Just as he leaned in to kiss me lightly, I felt my stomach churn and I clamped a hand over my mouth as I scrambled towards the bathroom. I heard Josh follow me and he then heldmy hair and rubbed my back soothingly as I got sick. I flushed the toilet and staggered a little as I got up to brush my teeth.

"Do you want to take the day off? It looks like you have the stomach flu." He said with a sympathetic smile. But as soon as the nausea came, it passed and I was feeling better already.

I shook my head. "No, I think I'm ok now. It must've been the fish I ate last night." I said walking out of the bathroom.

"You sure?" He asked, concerned.

I nodded. "I'm going to go get dressed."

After dealing with customers for 8 straight hours, I finally took a seat on the barstool and let out a breath, feeling very winded and tired. I haven't had energy in days. Josh came over and leaned against the counter. "Ready to get out of here?" he asked with a smirk.

"YES." I said, letting out a breath. He laughed as he took off his apron and we clocked out. "So, where are you taking me?" I asked curiously as we got into his car.

He smiled at me. "It's a surprise."

I held out my hand for Alex to hold as we walked to his car. He laced his fingers with mine. "so where are we going?" I asked curiously, hoping to pester him enough to slip up and tell me what the surprise was.

"It's a surprise" he scolded. "I know what you're up to missy," he narrowed his eyes and touched my nose with his index finger.

I smiled sheepishly. "well I can't help it!" I whined, hiding my face in his chest. "can we go now pleeaaasseeee?" I begged. He chucked and kissed my hair lightly. "Let's get out of here."

20 minutes later, we arrived at a semi-vacant and the sun iwas starting to set. "We have to walk a bit, hope you don't mind." He told me as he opened my door for me and reached for my hand.

I took it gladly."I don't mind." I said, smiling at him. I started to focus more on the ground as we walked, smiling sheepishly and hiding my face when I tried to sneak a glance at his face and his gaze met mine. He laughed lightly and let go of my hand briefly to curl his arm around my waist.

He stopped suddenly. "wait, I forgot something." he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bandana. "I said it was supposed to be a surprise, right?" he smirked. I scowled.

"Why do I have to wear a blindfold? I can close my eyes and not peak...much." I admitted under my breath. He laughed and walked behind me and placed the bandana over my eyes. "Not too tight" I reminded him. I felt him curls his arm around my waist again as he guided me to wherever the hell we were going. After a few minutes, I started to hear a lot more commotion than usual on the New York City Streets. It grew louder as we got closer until i could hear the faint sound of guitars and drum beats. He was taking me to a concert! I grinned wildly, still not able to see my surroundings. "Can I look now?!" I asked eagerly.

He squeezed my hand. "Go ahead." I could hear the smile in his voice. I pulled the bandana off of my eyes and waited a minute for my eyes to adjust. I was right, we were right in front of a concert hall. I looked up at the sign to see who was playing and my mouth fell open slightly.

"We're seeing Jimmy Eat World?!" I squealed excitedly. He only gave me another one of his crazy grins. I stretched onto my toes and threw my arms around his neck and kissed him happily.

I snapped out of my memory when Josh said my name, turning his keys out of the ignition. "You've been quiet." He teased, walking around the car to open the door for me. We were in front of a tall building and like a gentleman, Josh held out his arm to escort me inside what looked like to be a quiet, fancy restaurant.

"A french restaurant?" I questioned suspiciously.

"What? You're not fond of fine dining?" He said in a mock poised accent.

I laughed and smacked his chest lightly. Thank goodness we were semi-formally dressed from work. The host looked us up and down with a slight grimace. "Name?"

"Farro." Josh answered, unmoved by the mans obvious distaste for us.

The waiter looked at his list and nodded once, grabbing two menus. "This way." He told us, sticking his head up slightly as he glided into the room. Josh and I exchanged smirks as we followed him obediently. He seated us at a table in the back lit by candle light. "Let me know when you are ready to order." He said before gliding away.

"Did you see how he walks? Its insane." I laughed, opening up the menu.

He laughed and opened up his. "I can barely see in here. Ambiance is overrated." He muttered with a small smile. "Then again, you can barely read the menu. French is confusing."

"Let's just pick something off the menu and hope for the best." I laughed, trying to understand the menu.

Josh waved over the waiter and he came gliding back "Have you made your decision?" he asked in another poised twang.

"I'll have the cervelle de vache frits and she'll have the Cuisses de grenouilles marinées."

"Excellent choice Monsieur and Madamoiselle. I'll be back shortly with your plates."

"Do you have any idea what we just ordered?" I asked him, leaning closer with a smile.

He leaned closer to me as well. "Not a clue."

A half an hour later the waiter came back with our orders and places them both in front of us. "For you, Monsieur-" he lifted off the lid. "Fried cows brains. and for you Madamoiselle," he said, now taking my lid off. "Pickled frogs legs."

My mouth literally fell open and I snapped it back shut to attempt a smile and say thank you before he glided away. Josh started to burst out laughing as I looked at my plate wide eyed. Sure enough, there were at least 6 legs on my plate. My stomach churned a little. "It's not that funny Mr.fried cows brains!" I snappped.

He kept laughing until he was red in the face and his eyes were watery. Once he composed himself he cleared his throat. "Well, apparently they are 'excellent choices'  So we can at least attempt to try it." He suggested.

I complied and stabbed my fork into a leg and he cut into his brain. We took a bite at the same time and I watched his face twist into disgust as he chewed and swallowed bravely. I spat mine into my napkin gracefully.

Once Josh could talk again, he looked at me with a smile. "Taco bell?" I suggested.

He laughed and nodded wiping his mouth with a napkin. Then he raised his hand to call the waiter. "Check please."

"Hayley...." I heard a voice call my name.

"Spongebob."

"I bet she's faking."

The voices sounded so familiar, my head was pounding. My eyelids flooded open to a different lightly. It took a minute for my vision to adjust. Zac, Taylor, Jeremy, and Josh were all standing around me with smiling faces. Was I in the hospital? That was when I noticed the clothes they were wearing...neon and skinny jeans. Jeremy's hair was long, and Zac was wearing a red headband, Josh had the blond back in his hair. "What happened?" I groaned, attempting to sit up.

"You passed out onstage from the heat. They gave us the day off today." Josh explained kissing my forehead. I cringed lightly from his touch. What was going on? I was on the couch in a tour bus, wearing my bright yellow skinny jeans that I wore for the awards, that I also wore from the Paramore days. Then I noticed the sign posted on the cabinets. "Warped Tour 2008" What the heck was going on??

Their smiling faces faded as they saw my confused expression. "You don't remember anything do you?" Josh asked sympathetically pulling me into his arms. I was in shock and hated that my body already started to melt in his arms. If this was really 2008, and I had travelled 18 years in the past, what did that mean now? That I had a second chance to change my future? Maybe even prevent the heartache from Josh's affair?

I just shook my head, without saying a word. He held me tighter as Zac looked awkwardly at the ceiling. "Well, me and Tay are going to go watch Cobra perform, catch you guys later." He said as he left the bus, followed by Taylor and Jeremy, leaving Josh and I alone in the bus.

"Look Hayles, I'm sorry for the fight we had yesterday. I know how you get when you are upset and that's probably why it's my fault you passed out..." he said, playing with my fingers. "I know we both agreed to spend time apart after this tour, but I don't want to. I love you, Hayles." He said sincerely, locking his eyes with mine.

I wanted to believe him. I really did. The look he was giving me now was the same look he used to give me to tell me that everything would be ok; that we would be okay; in one simple glance. It felt so good to be in his arms again. But it only added to the pain I felt from him leaving me for Megan, the 19 year old daughter of one of his clients from the label. "Maybe we should spend some time apart now." It slipped past my lips before I realized I had even said it.

He pulled away slightly with a mixed expression of hurt and confusion. "What?" he practically whispered, his eyes were a liquid brown.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wanted to take it back, he looked so hurt. He looked like he really loved me. Maybe I should just apologize and just kiss him. No, Hayley. You have to remember the future Josh. Bitter Josh. The one who left you and your girls. I straightened my posture and took in a breath. "Yeah. I just think it would be best." I said with no emotion in my voice. "I'm going to find something to eat from catering." I said, getting up leaving him alone and speechless on the bus.

For some reason, I felt like I could actually breathe in deeply for the first time in awhile. The sun was right above the mountains, the sky was a beautiful crystal blue. There were hundreds of kids everywhere listening to their favorite bands; and for once they weren't hoarding me for a picture or an autograph. I wasn't that famous yet..and for once, it felt good.

Breathe, Hayley. Just take a deep breath in...and let it out. You have to keep your sanity about this. All you have to do is accept the award, say a little speech, say a few hi/goodbyes and be back on the couch watching old movies with your girls in no time. I

I didn't want to make eye contact with him at all, but will force a glance and a smile if I had to. But he didn't even deserve a smile, so dirty glance it is. I sat in front of the mirror, messing with the newly dyed dark red curls framing my face, and adjusted the locket around my neck. Inside of it were photos of my daughters, Gwen, 17, and Allison, 6. He had given me that locket for my 18th birthday, when we were happy.

If I knew what I know now back then, I would've done a lot of things differently.

"Mom? are you ready?" Gwen asked, leaning against the doorframe. She had finished getting dressed in a navy blue ensemble I picked out for her.  "The babysitters here." 

"Ok." I nodded, getting up from the mirror and smoothing out my dress."I look ridiculous." I muttered, quietly.

She rolled her eyes. "Mom, stop freaking out, you look great."

"I don't feel great." I muttered again, feeling like a child.

Being a 37 year old -soon to be divorced- single mother of two was not what I considered to be worthy of a 'lifetime achievement' award. But then again, I was in a platinum selling rock band.

Gwen rolled her eyes and brushed her long dark brown hair behind her shoulder. "Oh come on Mom, you look hot. He'll regret everything the moment he sees you." she giggled.

I sighed. "Not if he is only looking at that bimbo wannabe gold digger." I hissed underneath my breath.

Gwen sighed and sat on the bed, giving up on making me feel better. The separation effected us all in different ways. Gwen tried to seem hopeful, and his all of her feelings inside, Allison didn't really understand and asked why 'daddy didn't love us anymore', and I was angry, hurt, and shut myself off from the world and kept myself and my girls in a little cocoon, waiting to transform into a new life.

I fixed my hair for the last time and took a deep breath and walked out into the living room of my lavish upscale apartment in New York City, which was another benefit from the success of Paramore and my record label that he and I both started. I was going to avoid even thinking about his name.

Stacy, our next door neighbor's daughter, was a cute, honor roll student with light hair and bright blue eyes. She was always happy to babysit Allison, she adored her. She and Allison were on the floor trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle. Allison was a carbon copy of her dad, except for her hazel eyes that look green in the sunlight. She was too mature for an 6 year old, and -due to the situation with her dad and I- goes to therapy every week.

"Hey Mrs.Farro. Oh, I mean Ms.Williams, sorry. Form of habit"

"It's okay Stac, just call me Hayley from now on." I said with a small smile. "Gwen and I will be home around 1ish. Does that work with you?"

"Yeah. my dad knows I'm staying late so it's all good."

"Oh, ok. My cell number is on the fridge, call if you need anything." I said as Gwen practically pulled me out the door. I didn't want to go at all.

The limo was outside waiting for us, ready to take us to Radio City Music Hall to get the award and celebrate. I'd rather get a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cake Batter with sprinkles and watch Wayne's World.

The minute we got into thebuilding I was whisked away backstage as Gwen gave me a reassuring hug, promising that she would be in the front row and not to freak out. Sometimes, I thought our roles as mother and daughter felt as if they were switched. She was my rock, she helped me through all of this.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I gasped and whirled around to meet a pair of familiar blue eyes covered underneath thick framed glasses and a beanie. "Jeremy!" I gasped in relief, giving him a tight hug.

He chuckled lightly. "Nice to see you too." he said as he pulled away.

"How is Jesse and the kids?" I asked, trying to catch up, I hadn't seen him since last christmas.

"They're fine, Amanda just turned 10. How are your girls?"

I let out a breath. "They're pulling through." I admitted honestly.

He nodded solemnly. He knew everything that had happened, and was as just as disappointed in him as I was. He put his hands on my shoulders. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged, fighting back tears. "The best I can, I put a smile on for my girls. They miss you and Jesse a lot." I told him.

"Well you'll just have to bring em down to Nashville for the holidays, show them your old roots." He joked.

I laughed lightly. "Maybe."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Josh waltz in with bimbo Megan attached to his hip. Jeremy gave me a questioning look as he turned to the direction I was looking. He muttered something underneath his breath. "He's got some nerve..." He hissed.

My heart rate started to pick up as my breathing became uneven. It wasn't enough that he left me for her and all of her fake,zplastic looks; now he was shoving it in my face. Jeremy left as Zac and Taylor walked up giving me hugs and apologetic looks. "Hayley, I didn't know he was going to bring her, I'm so sorry." Zac said quietly.

"Don't be. Its not your fault." I said as Josh was walking over to me. My breath got caught in my throat.

"Hayles," He said, I winced at his old nickname for me. I avoided his glare and shifted closer to Zac and Taylor. "Come on, we need to talk." He begged, blocking me as I tried to walk away.  "You can't ignore me forever."

I looked up at him and shot him a cold glare. "Watch me." I hissed, walking past him as I tried to keep my composure. My stomach was twisted in knots.

The presenter announced us as the producers pushed me towards the stage, my footing was off slightly. The first thing I noticed was how many people were in the audience, standing up and cheering for us. I swallowed and tried to keep my breathing even. I was having a panic attack. I was handed a mike as I took in a shaky breath and tried to see past the lights focused on us. I could feel my forehead getting hot, my vision started to fuzz around the corners. "Wow...I...we" I stammered, as my vision got worse and I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I could feel Josh's glare on me, it only made it worse.

The mike slipped through my fingers as I felt my legs buckle underneath me. Screams filled the air as I fell. The faces of Jeremy, Gwen, and Josh blended with the colored lights, the last thing I heard was Josh and Gwen calling my name as everything went black.

- - - - -

"Hayley...." I heard a voice call my name.

"Spongebob."

"I bet she's faking."

The voices sounded so familiar, my head was pounding. My eyelids flooded open to a different lightly. It took a minute for my vision to adjust. Zac, Taylor, Jeremy, and Josh were all standing around me with smiling faces. Was I in the hospital? That was when I noticed the clothes they were wearing...neon and skinny jeans. Jeremy's hair was long, and Zac was wearing a red headband, Josh had the blond back in his hair. "What happened?" I groaned, attempting to sit up.

"You passed out onstage from the heat. They gave us the day off today." Josh explained kissing my forehead. I cringed lightly from his touch. What was going on?

I was on the couch in a tour bus, wearing my bright yellow skinny jeans that I wore for the awards, that I also wore from the Paramore days. Then I noticed the sign posted on the cabinets. "Warped Tour 2008"

What the heck was going on??