sorry for the lack of updates!
After I had told Chad my big secret, I realized it was time for me to go back, I mean to Nashville. The last time I was there was for Josh and I's last christmas together, but he spent most of his time on his iphone, probably talking his blonde bimbo. But since that hadn't happened yet, I guess I hadn't been home since the beginning of warped tour, two months ago.
Chad offered to take me to the aiport when I told him I should be leaving. Now, we were at the front of LAX and I managed to pul my large suitcase out of his trunk. I set it on the ground, letting out a breath and putting my hands on my hips. "Got your ticket?" Chad asked, leaning against his car.
I checked my purse and nodded. "Yep." I said before brushing my hair out of my eyes. I looked up at him. "Thanks for everything, Chad. I definitely needed it." I told him truthfully.
He smiled and pulled me into a bear hug. "No problem, it was fun. Be careful,okay?" His voice was muffled by my hair.
I hugged him tightly. "I will."
He ruffled my hair before pulling away and resting his hands at the top of my arms. He bent down slightly to look me straight in the eyes. "Don't make stupid decisions." He warned.
I rolled my eyes. I knew what he meant by that. Not tomake decisions that could dramatically change my future, but I feared that I already did. "I'll try my best." I answered truthfully before fixing my hair and grabbing my suitcase.
He got back into his car and turned his key into the ignition before giving me one last wave goodbye.
I took a deep breath and lugged my suitcase inside, mentally preparing myself for the long plane ride where I would be faced with my thoughts, and a decision to get my future right. Once I got settled in my seat, I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes, letting sleep take over.
I sat on the edge of my bathroom counter top, tapping my fingers impatiently as I waited for the time to be up. 3 minutes felt like three hours. I brushed my bangs out of my face, flustered as I tried to regain my composure. I listened to the ticking of the timer, waiting for the bell to ring finally.
It rang and I jolted slightly, caught off guard. I let out a breath and snatched the stick. I stared at it intently before hitting and shaking it, making sure the result was clear.
and it was as clear as a cloudless day. The blue happy face stared up at me, practically mocking me telling me I already knew that I was pregnant before I took the test. All the signs were there. Nausea, fatigue, mood swings, morning sickness. I just chose to write them off to exhaustion from being so busy.
More importantly, how was Josh going to handle this? Would things be different if we hadnt done what we did on my birthday? Of course they would because I wouldn't be pregnant then, would I?
God, pull yourself together Hayley.
It was now or never. I pulled out my sidekick and selected his contact. My stomach was twisted in knots as I heard the dial tone. "Please, please pick up." I muttered to myself, biting my lip.
"Hello?" I heard him answer.
"Uh..hey Josh, can you come over?" I managed to say. I brushed my hair behind my ear.
"Sure babe, I'll be over in 5 ok?" he told me. "Love you."
"me too." I stammered before clicking end.
I walked into my living room and sat down on my couch, staring up at my painting of Johnny Cash. I jumped up the minute I heard a knock and I opened the door to his happy expression. His smile instantly faded. He could tell I wasn't myself. "What's wrong Hayles?"
"We need to talk." I said quietly before holding the door open for him to come in.
He complied and took off his winter coat before sitting down. I walked over slowly before sitting down next to him and turning to face him. "I don't know how to really put this so I'm just going to spit it out." I warned him. I could see the confusion in his eyes and anxiety. He stared at me, waiting for me to continue. "I''m pregnant."
He let out a breath and leaned back into the couch. "Oh thank jesus!" he said, sounding relieved.
"What do you mean?" I demanded.
He started to laugh. "I thought you were going to break up with me!" he exclaimed.
I pursed my lips and smacked his chest lightly. "Come on Josh, I'm serious! I'm pregnant with your child!"
He stopped laughing at me and looked at me. "I know, and this just gives me another reason to ask you something." He muttered before fishing through his pants pocket. He pulled out a tiny red box and slid off the couch before getting on one knee.
"Josh, what the heck are you thinking?" I stammered, completely at loss for words.
"I've been carrying this ring around since October, waiting for the right moment. But you and I both know we're not known for good timing. All I know is that I love you with all of my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby." He confessed."So, Hayley Nichole Williams, will you do the honor of being my wife?"
Tears started to well up in my eyes, he really did love me, didn't he? I wiped my eyes and nodded quickly. "Yes!" I squealed before he slid the ring on my finger and got up to kiss me passionately. I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly as his curled around my waist. I never wanted to let go.
I was woken up by the old woan next to me telling me that we landed. I wanted to go back to my dream, and live in the bliss of being in love and being happy. I realized at that moment that I truly missed him, but by missing him, would that mean that I would just fall back into his arms and repeat the same future of being alone and heart broken?