I don't know why I felt so annoyed by Leila. She was a nice girl with long curly brown hair and brown eyes and she was fun to be around. I felt like she was everything to Josh that I couldn't be. Maybe I was just jealous that Josh had someone and Chad was so far away.
But tonight my two best friends were coming up for dinner. I hoped everyone would like Claire and Jamie was already dating Zac, so that helped make me feel like I wasn't alone. Sarah and Taylor's new girlfriend Celia was coming too.
At dinner, everyone was involved in a hilarious conversation, and I somehow got put out of the loop. Claire noticed my distress.
"You okay Hayles?" She asked with a concerned look on her face.
I put on a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm just tired."
"Why don't we have a slumber party tonight?" Jamie suggested. "We could watch the exorcism of emily rose and eat Hawaiian pizza!" She grinned.
I nodded. "Ok. Sounds great! Just to warn you, I might pee my pants in some parts." I added as a joke.
"Jeeze, Hayles. You and scary movies do not mix at all." Claire laughed. We spent the rest of the night chatting, watching movies and vegging out on popcorn and pizza.
I still could not get Josh out of my mind. I should be dreaming about my boyfriend, not my best friend! I channeled all my frustrations into performing, I sang until I thought my lungs would give out and my vocal cords would burst. I think that everyone could see it too.
A few days later I was on my laptop and Josh came over and closed it. "Hey!" I grumbled.
"Do you know what day it is?" He asked happily. This was the first time he had talked to me directly in awhile. He had been to preoccupied with Leila.
"Wednesday?" I guessed, wondering where this conversation was going.
"Which means, tonight is Spongebob marathon!" He flashed a crooked grin. I couldn't help but smile. That tradition was started last year on tour and he actually remembered. My smile faded.
"What about Leila?" I muttered, my voice heavy with disappointment.
"She's out shopping." he smirked.
"Ok. I'll make the popcorn!" I bounced.
A few minutes later, we were settled on the couch with popcorn and the first season of spongebob on dvd. We ordered a pizza and started to talk like old times. I felt like I had my Josh back. My Josh. Why did I say that?
Josh suddenly hit my head with a piece of popcorn. "Hey!" I laughed. "That was uncalled for." I threw a handful at him.
He stuck his tongue out at me. "Don't be a baby Hayles." He said in a mock tone.
Our popcorn fight was soon interrupted by the front door opening and Leila popping through with bags from Vans, Hot Topic, and Pac Sun.
"What are you guys watching?" She asked happily.
"Spongebob." I said blankly.
She sat between Josh and I and subtly pushed me away. I grabbed the popcorn bowl and stuffed a handful of popcorn in my mouth, I couldn't win could I?
My reverie was soon interrupted by someone poking me.
"Excuse me?" A girl named Crystal asked.
"yes?" I tried to sound polite.
"Are you Hayley Williams from Paramore?"
"Uh, no. You must be mistaken." I lied. I felt bad when I saw the look of embarrassment on her face. I just didn't want to deal with fame right now. I left some cash and I walked out of the diner.
*3 weeks later*
I decided to stay in bed today. I didn't feel like living anymore. Let alone getting up from bed. I enhaled the faint scent of her shampoo that still was on the pillows. I imagined her face in my head.
How her red hair blew across her face and how the light lit the amber flecks in her green eyes. Her laugh and her smile was my inspiration to compose music.
But without her, the only thing I could create were broken rhythyms and notes. I found the bottle of sleeping pills beside the bed and took two to help me sleep.
I was soon consumed into the blackness of slumber, to dream of her face and her memory that still burned my thoughts.
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